It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance