Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar