She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.