I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out