if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things