Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.