I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you