Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!