If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.