Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
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Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj