You left your underwear on the fireplace
Send us your Text From Last Night!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.