Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.