I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful