How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up