He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.