He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch