Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
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I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.