She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party