Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.