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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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    Replies (16) Good night (766) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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    (202): View more from Washington, DC

    therell be strippers and coke right?

    (703): View more from Virginia

    no strippers. just coke.

    (202): View more from Washington, DC

    i hate this fuckin recession

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    Replies (22) Good night (10689) Bad night (2529)
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    (251): View more from Alabama

    Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

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    Replies (14) Good night (3480) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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    (+27): View more from South Africa

    This girl is more easily done than said...

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    Replies (5) Good night (3173) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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    (214): View more from Texas

    I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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    Replies (8) Good night (440) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
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    (702): View more from Nevada

    Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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    Replies (40) Good night (771) Bad night (3392) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.

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    Replies (52) Good night (4546) Bad night (5740) Order T-Shirt
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    (619): View more from California

    dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face

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    Replies (24) Good night (653) Bad night (2321) Order T-Shirt
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    (305): View more from Florida

    Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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    Replies (41) Good night (815) Bad night (4331) Order T-Shirt
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    (212): View more from New York

    I'm drive I can fine osifer

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    Replies (28) Good night (1294) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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    (905): View more from Toronto

    I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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    Replies (18) Good night (784) Bad night (2522) Order T-Shirt
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    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    I am in a vortex of obligation.

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    Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1477) Order T-Shirt
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    (317): View more from Indiana

    Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.

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    Replies (10) Good night (1842) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    you guys were way drunker than both of me

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    Replies (11) Good night (9248) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

    (770): View more from Georgia

    b/c u have herpes

    (310): View more from California

    No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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    Replies (19) Good night (907) Bad night (5387)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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