That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be