We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.