Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team