you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp