pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.