it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?