Texts From Last Night

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(352): View more from Florida

So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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(352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field http://tfl.nu/5are

Replies (16) Good night (2447) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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(650): Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm http://tfl.nu/tho2

Replies (19) Good night (1381) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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(804): i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick. http://tfl.nu/aodk

Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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(617): yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9. http://tfl.nu/1zb6

Replies (25) Good night (1941) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

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(530): 1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details. http://tfl.nu/vtyc

Replies (34) Good night (1848) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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(248): Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back? http://tfl.nu/so4j

Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

I feel like our house is getting pulled over.

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(845): I feel like our house is getting pulled over. http://tfl.nu/fgli

Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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(443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y

Replies (11) Good night (1930) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8

Replies (109) Good night (39854) Bad night (1919)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..

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(413): Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative.. http://tfl.nu/iby4

Replies (10) Good night (777) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head

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(412): guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head http://tfl.nu/nsk3

Replies (3) Good night (1374) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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(510): View more from California

I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

(1-510): View more from California

It was probably Jesus.

(510): View more from California

I feel like he would have left a message.

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(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x

Replies (36) Good night (4251) Bad night (553)
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(847): View more from Illinois

just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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(847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk

Replies (12) Good night (569) Bad night (2404) Order T-Shirt
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(224): View more from Illinois

Awesome. Ask her out.

(815): View more from Illinois

Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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(224): Awesome. Ask her out. (815): Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her. http://tfl.nu/pquv

Replies (14) Good night (503) Bad night (1595)
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(310): View more from California

i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?

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(310): i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do? http://tfl.nu/rcm8

Replies (23) Good night (759) Bad night (1601)

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