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    (352): View more from Florida

    So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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    Replies (16) Good night (2447) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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    (650): View more from California

    Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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    Replies (19) Good night (1381) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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    (804): View more from Virginia

    i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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    Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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    (617): View more from Massachusetts

    yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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    Replies (25) Good night (1941) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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    (530): View more from California

    1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

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    Replies (34) Good night (1848) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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    (248): View more from Michigan

    Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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    Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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    (845): View more from New York

    I feel like our house is getting pulled over.

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    Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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    Replies (11) Good night (1930) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

    (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

    you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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    Replies (109) Good night (39854) Bad night (1919)
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    (413): View more from Massachusetts

    Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..

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    Replies (10) Good night (777) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
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    (412): View more from Pennsylvania

    guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head

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    Replies (3) Good night (1374) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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    (510): View more from California

    I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

    (1-510): View more from California

    It was probably Jesus.

    (510): View more from California

    I feel like he would have left a message.

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    Replies (36) Good night (4251) Bad night (553)
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    (847): View more from Illinois

    just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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    Replies (12) Good night (569) Bad night (2404) Order T-Shirt
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    (224): View more from Illinois

    Awesome. Ask her out.

    (815): View more from Illinois

    Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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    Replies (14) Good night (503) Bad night (1595)
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    (310): View more from California

    i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?

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    Replies (23) Good night (759) Bad night (1601)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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