her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Send us your Text From Last Night!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.