Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant