Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass