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So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
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