This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.