I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk