it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon