I think I have vodka in my lungs
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?