i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.