WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.