not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.