Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.