you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.