haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost