Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..