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dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think my fart just growled at me.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
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