theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?