Texts From Last Night

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(970): View more from Colorado

Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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(970): Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad http://tfl.nu/i5ms

Replies (30) Good night (1009) Bad night (4484)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...

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(519): I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/p0v8

Replies (15) Good night (5991) Bad night (1108)
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(208): View more from Idaho

just looked at his mug shot... not really my type

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(208): just looked at his mug shot... not really my type http://tfl.nu/kmub

Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (4233)
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(347): View more from New York

Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

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(347): Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account. http://tfl.nu/m8a3

Replies (65) Good night (1669) Bad night (19800)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong

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(912): I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong http://tfl.nu/xu91

Replies (15) Good night (5548) Bad night (1208)
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(626): View more from California

you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay

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(626): you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay http://tfl.nu/yxo6

Replies (10) Good night (998) Bad night (4818)
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(316): View more from Kansas

i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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(316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9

Replies (25) Good night (5601) Bad night (1749)
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(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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(415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd

Replies (16) Good night (9319) Bad night (1276)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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(303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0

Replies (43) Good night (2139) Bad night (14287)
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(714): View more from California

Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful

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(714): Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful http://tfl.nu/3flc

Replies (30) Good night (7241) Bad night (1510)
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(815): View more from Illinois

grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.

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(815): grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/k9i9

Replies (21) Good night (4390) Bad night (1446)
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(323): View more from California

I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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(323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6

Replies (16) Good night (1281) Bad night (5353)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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(720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q

Replies (58) Good night (17033) Bad night (2215)
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(937): View more from Ohio

He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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(937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z

Replies (46) Good night (6201) Bad night (8878)
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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur

Replies (16) Good night (9075) Bad night (1244)

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