I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You took a bar mat shot.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree