I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no