Texts From Last Night

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(661): View more from California

a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet

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(661): a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet http://tfl.nu/xcx4

Replies (36) Good night (3942) Bad night (1141)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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(215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha

Replies (23) Good night (1766) Bad night (5161)
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(858): View more from California

dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.

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(858): dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread. http://tfl.nu/pzp6

Replies (22) Good night (5899) Bad night (908)
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(251): View more from Alabama

the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

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(251): the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville. http://tfl.nu/cwli

Replies (37) Good night (1198) Bad night (5045)
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(206): View more from Washington

She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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(206): She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy. http://tfl.nu/ixzo

Replies (35) Good night (758) Bad night (7079)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.

(203): View more from Connecticut

Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.

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(203): im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty. (1-203): Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said. (203): Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bpzi

Replies (54) Good night (5285) Bad night (1105)
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(516): View more from New York

i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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(516): i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth" http://tfl.nu/n9fj

Replies (44) Good night (1077) Bad night (6928)
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(206): View more from Washington

you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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(206): you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing." http://tfl.nu/7ght

Replies (16) Good night (5707) Bad night (980)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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(847): She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses. http://tfl.nu/wrem

Replies (50) Good night (1280) Bad night (4668)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.

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(515): I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans. http://tfl.nu/jn9s

Replies (128) Good night (550) Bad night (3937)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy

Replies (10) Good night (3964) Bad night (682)
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(415): View more from California

This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?

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(415): This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf? http://tfl.nu/a0bl

Replies (16) Good night (837) Bad night (3655)
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(415): View more from California

I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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(415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t

Replies (76) Good night (9924) Bad night (934)
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(831): View more from California

Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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(831): Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21? http://tfl.nu/gpnq

Replies (37) Good night (6773) Bad night (1278)
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(315): View more from New York

i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.

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(315): i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear. http://tfl.nu/94id

Replies (10) Good night (5325) Bad night (1176)

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