Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him