Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off