$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.