She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger