Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.