what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.