Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?