And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.