We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
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sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"