I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.