Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.