I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.