Texts From Last Night

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(630): View more from Illinois

he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

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(630): he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage http://tfl.nu/nrg5

Replies (39) Good night (1227) Bad night (13373)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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(573): Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible http://tfl.nu/a2el

Replies (31) Good night (1033) Bad night (3416)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.

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(+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/njzt

Replies (18) Good night (5064) Bad night (891)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.

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(201): just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette. http://tfl.nu/20f3

Replies (32) Good night (4902) Bad night (982)
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(317): View more from Indiana

sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

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(317): sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru". http://tfl.nu/gnr7

Replies (26) Good night (1292) Bad night (6081)
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(512): View more from Texas

Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time

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(512): Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time http://tfl.nu/c4as

Replies (19) Good night (4965) Bad night (1077)
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(917): View more from New York City

i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.

(516): View more from New York

was the water running?

(917): View more from New York City

yeah but he said he knows how to swim

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(917): i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower. (516): was the water running? (917): yeah but he said he knows how to swim http://tfl.nu/akph

Replies (10) Good night (6422) Bad night (1248)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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(228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk

Replies (50) Good night (10595) Bad night (1011)
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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8

Replies (18) Good night (5952) Bad night (683)
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(631): View more from New York

"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......

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(631): "fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house...... http://tfl.nu/xvur

Replies (8) Good night (3927) Bad night (819)
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(937): View more from Ohio

dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize

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(937): dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize http://tfl.nu/5hy5

Replies (17) Good night (3642) Bad night (846)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

I respect that

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(508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis

Replies (53) Good night (9878) Bad night (1120)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...

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(604): Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero... http://tfl.nu/xsvf

Replies (17) Good night (6334) Bad night (1194)
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(941): View more from Florida

I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

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(941): I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass. http://tfl.nu/wkll

Replies (6) Good night (3715) Bad night (1168)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

my vagina's been through so much this weekend

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

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(860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r

Replies (35) Good night (7739) Bad night (1102)

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