I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy