Texts From Last Night

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.

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(513): I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim. http://tfl.nu/b9e4

Replies (15) Good night (5393) Bad night (787)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner

(617): View more from Massachusetts

you want to re-phrase that?

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(857): I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner (617): you want to re-phrase that? http://tfl.nu/lax1

Replies (11) Good night (3818) Bad night (891)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you

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(506): cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you http://tfl.nu/iu0p

Replies (21) Good night (5247) Bad night (1009)
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(716): View more from New York

can you take me to a tanning bed

(1-716): View more from New York

sure, why though?

(716): View more from New York

i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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(716): can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious http://tfl.nu/lgox

Replies (31) Good night (540) Bad night (6316)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I wish you could order shots online.

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(573): I wish you could order shots online. http://tfl.nu/guzz

Replies (10) Good night (4066) Bad night (591)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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(717): please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are. http://tfl.nu/a3si

Replies (10) Good night (1287) Bad night (3699)
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(315): View more from New York

a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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(315): a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop" http://tfl.nu/57y7

Replies (20) Good night (4845) Bad night (1226)
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(289): View more from Ontario

Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.

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(289): Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/ostc

Replies (64) Good night (8658) Bad night (865)
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(210): View more from Texas

this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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(210): this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life. http://tfl.nu/lflc

Replies (37) Good night (4986) Bad night (1122)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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(757): I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour. http://tfl.nu/8whx

Replies (16) Good night (4443) Bad night (799)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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(401): apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat. http://tfl.nu/jsnf

Replies (64) Good night (970) Bad night (15484)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

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(507): You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone http://tfl.nu/s3uu

Replies (7) Good night (5168) Bad night (519)
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(540): View more from Virginia

when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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(540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb

Replies (14) Good night (4251) Bad night (777)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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(704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz

Replies (16) Good night (5585) Bad night (680)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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(973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr

Replies (20) Good night (3805) Bad night (658)

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