you dipped you banana in queso last night.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.