You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
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I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
