Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
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Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.