Texts From Last Night

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(254): View more from Texas

just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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(254): just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night. http://tfl.nu/wct2

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(847): View more from Illinois

Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

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(847): Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex. http://tfl.nu/aztc

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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(508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better http://tfl.nu/9gj2

Replies (21) Good night (5198) Bad night (1112)
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(510): View more from California

Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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(510): Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/p911

Replies (9) Good night (914) Bad night (4639)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

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(703): Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight http://tfl.nu/2em9

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(313): View more from Michigan

Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

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(313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn

Replies (19) Good night (1340) Bad night (6218)
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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk

Replies (45) Good night (28781) Bad night (2199)
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(801): View more from Utah

My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party

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(801): My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party http://tfl.nu/4dt1

Replies (35) Good night (2659) Bad night (4184)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.

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(404): Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating. http://tfl.nu/1th0

Replies (23) Good night (5978) Bad night (670)
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(305): View more from Florida

She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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(305): She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning. http://tfl.nu/va2c

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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(304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn

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(206): View more from Washington

i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

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(206): i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate. http://tfl.nu/mwsu

Replies (53) Good night (5960) Bad night (835)
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(217): View more from Illinois

i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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(217): i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that. http://tfl.nu/jmlu

Replies (43) Good night (1480) Bad night (2833)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.

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(814): Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it. http://tfl.nu/kj9q

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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(814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0

Replies (51) Good night (7677) Bad night (932)

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