some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.