she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.