The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption