He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me