In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...