Texts From Last Night

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

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(724): yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism http://tfl.nu/kj7t

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(408): View more from California

When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

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(408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus. http://tfl.nu/kpmf

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(619): View more from California

i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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(619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb

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(802): View more from Vermont

He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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(802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj

Replies (40) Good night (4032) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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(650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b

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(845): View more from New York

I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

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(845): I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE http://tfl.nu/lkt9

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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber

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(630): i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber http://tfl.nu/rpg1

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(815): View more from Illinois

i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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(815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k

Replies (68) Good night (733) Bad night (9678) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.

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(815): Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet. http://tfl.nu/agm0

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

(516): View more from New York

one can only hope.

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(732): I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves? (516): one can only hope. http://tfl.nu/2jko

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(609): i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th. http://tfl.nu/t2dt

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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(330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Anal.

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(615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl

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(775): View more from Nevada

If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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(775): If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band. http://tfl.nu/wzbw

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(505): View more from New Mexico

No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens

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(505): No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens http://tfl.nu/a8dq

Replies (4) Good night (1999) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt

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