Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"