I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.