He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.