How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.