He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.