we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!