Texts From Last Night

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(804): View more from Virginia

I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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(804): I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five http://tfl.nu/co5b

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.

(763): View more from Minnesota

ew wtf

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(218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed. (763): ew wtf http://tfl.nu/st4c

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.

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(732): I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one. http://tfl.nu/pu4o

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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(504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

(201): View more from New Jersey

NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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(551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt

Replies (85) Good night (4714) Bad night (960)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

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(313): View more from Michigan

ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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(313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv

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(303): View more from Colorado

Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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(303): Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina. http://tfl.nu/raau

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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(330): I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke http://tfl.nu/gn8s

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(949): View more from California

the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach

(1-949): View more from California

um or while having sex on a train

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(949): the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach (1-949): um or while having sex on a train http://tfl.nu/7ch7

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(404): What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning? http://tfl.nu/h6ji

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(708): View more from Illinois

i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

(708): View more from Illinois

but i totally would still bang him

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(708): i effin hate jeff goldbloom. (708): but i totally would still bang him http://tfl.nu/w2kp

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(510): View more from California

I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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(510): I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress. http://tfl.nu/szsa

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(281): View more from Texas

i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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(281): i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks http://tfl.nu/0yyy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet

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(617): just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet http://tfl.nu/fxai

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