Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong