there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"