The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."