Texts From Last Night

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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(412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o

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(714): View more from California

Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?

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(714): Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix? http://tfl.nu/0vla

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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(651): nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list. http://tfl.nu/o8v1

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(802): View more from Vermont

Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?

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(802): Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase? http://tfl.nu/m4dc

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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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(757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp

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(513): View more from Ohio

I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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(513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q

Replies (14) Good night (2571) Bad night (807)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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(859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk

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(740): View more from Ohio

the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless

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(740): the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless http://tfl.nu/zvzp

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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(248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f

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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

(360): View more from Washington

I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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(503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve

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(416): View more from Ontario

Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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(416): Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be. http://tfl.nu/wari

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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(504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3

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(404): View more from Georgia

Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.

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(404): Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/7own

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(858): View more from California

Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.

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(858): Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life. http://tfl.nu/3r58

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(818): View more from California

Its about making memories worth repressing

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(818): Its about making memories worth repressing http://tfl.nu/5fiw

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