you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!