Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time