I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts