Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore