Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As shirtless as possible