U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
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the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser