Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying