Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.