Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.