Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.