She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.