I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?