I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.