I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong