sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.