I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"