2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Send us your Text From Last Night!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th