They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you inspire me to be a worse person
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.