Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Send us your Text From Last Night!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.