He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.