Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes