Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.