It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.