Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.