Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.