what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
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if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.