Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.