I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.