who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just googled if crying burns calories
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We left an ass print on the piano.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.