We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
they call him Oral-B. enough said
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.