I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic