If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.