Texts From Last Night

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

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(337): Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop" http://tfl.nu/felz

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(630): View more from Illinois

wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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(630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m

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(742): View more from

What happened last night?

(1-742): View more from

You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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(742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa

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(517): View more from Michigan

sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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(517): sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him. http://tfl.nu/vixo

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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(617): There's a vagina buried somewhere in there. http://tfl.nu/t83u

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(415): View more from California

Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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(415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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(502): Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks. http://tfl.nu/e7zg

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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(610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(304): I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine. http://tfl.nu/cm6i

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.

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(715): i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick. http://tfl.nu/ongn

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(813): View more from Florida

i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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(813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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(704): Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning. http://tfl.nu/47ow

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(417): View more from Missouri

when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.

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(417): when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/gl04

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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(484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh

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(714): View more from California

we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.

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(714): we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180. http://tfl.nu/lfvw

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