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    (505): View more from New Mexico

    Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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    Replies (93) Good night (5532) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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    (484): View more from Pennsylvania

    So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.

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    Replies (45) Good night (4441) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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    (703): View more from Virginia

    I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.

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    Replies (81) Good night (8162) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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    (412): View more from Pennsylvania

    fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    Winning.

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    Replies (74) Good night (7007) Bad night (847)
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    (870): View more from Arkansas

    I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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    Replies (50) Good night (6497) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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    (217): View more from Illinois

    My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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    Replies (26) Good night (4846) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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    (806): View more from Texas

    pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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    Replies (22) Good night (2938) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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    (715): View more from Wisconsin

    I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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    Replies (19) Good night (1665) Bad night (3678) Order T-Shirt
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    (814): View more from Pennsylvania

    it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge

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    Replies (15) Good night (669) Bad night (3347) Order T-Shirt
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    (416): View more from Ontario

    Thursdays are my worst days

    (1-416): View more from Ontario

    but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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    Replies (49) Good night (4697) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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    (973): View more from New Jersey

    Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical

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    Replies (141) Good night (4166) Bad night (2123) Order T-Shirt
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    (615): View more from Tennessee

    In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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    Replies (34) Good night (4102) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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    (262): View more from Wisconsin

    Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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    Replies (64) Good night (10894) Bad night (1764) Order T-Shirt
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    (713): View more from Texas

    S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?

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    Replies (131) Good night (659) Bad night (8069) Order T-Shirt
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    (509): View more from Washington

    so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week

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    Replies (25) Good night (4955) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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