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you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
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