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My pussy is not your playground.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
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