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    (206): View more from Washington

    If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh

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    Replies (41) Good night (8522) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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    (720): View more from Colorado

    Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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    Replies (29) Good night (3642) Bad night (915)
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    (401): View more from Rhode Island

    yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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    Replies (11) Good night (750) Bad night (3267) Order T-Shirt
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    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    So for us it's double that?

    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    Precisely.

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    Replies (33) Good night (4871) Bad night (587)
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    (678): View more from Georgia

    stop calling my apartment porn island.

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    Replies (15) Good night (4796) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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    (480): View more from Arizona

    I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..

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    Replies (32) Good night (1902) Bad night (4917)
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    (781): View more from Massachusetts

    WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

    (339): View more from Massachusetts

    Oh yeah that.

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    Replies (50) Good night (1888) Bad night (5164)
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    (908): View more from New Jersey

    this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow

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    Replies (12) Good night (588) Bad night (4294) Order T-Shirt
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    (404): View more from Georgia

    I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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    Replies (168) Good night (5740) Bad night (6576) Order T-Shirt
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    (347): View more from New York

    I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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    Replies (29) Good night (1109) Bad night (5786) Order T-Shirt
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    (315): View more from New York

    You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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    Replies (16) Good night (6212) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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    (512): View more from Texas

    At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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    Replies (21) Good night (5987) Bad night (580)
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    (484): View more from Pennsylvania

    Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

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    Replies (6) Good night (504) Bad night (4075) Order T-Shirt
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    (704): View more from North Carolina

    he looks like a really good dad on facebook

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    Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (3568) Order T-Shirt
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    (419): View more from Ohio

    I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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    Replies (28) Good night (685) Bad night (5222) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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