I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.